1 00:00:00,250 --> 00:00:02,250 ADULT SHELDON: Behind every great scientist, 2 00:00:02,255 --> 00:00:05,887 there were often unsung helpers toiling away in the background. 3 00:00:05,892 --> 00:00:07,297 Presenting... 4 00:00:07,302 --> 00:00:10,702 _ 5 00:00:10,707 --> 00:00:13,603 When Alexander Graham Bell needed an assistant, 6 00:00:13,607 --> 00:00:15,602 it was Thomas Augustus Watson 7 00:00:15,607 --> 00:00:17,371 who answered the call. (LAUGHS): Get it? 8 00:00:17,376 --> 00:00:18,476 "The call". 9 00:00:18,481 --> 00:00:19,581 (SNICKERING) 10 00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:21,913 Madame Curie's daughter Irène 11 00:00:21,918 --> 00:00:23,615 was also her lab assistant. 12 00:00:23,620 --> 00:00:27,918 Irène was so dedicated, she died of radiation poisoning. 13 00:00:27,923 --> 00:00:29,587 Unlike her sister Ève, 14 00:00:29,592 --> 00:00:31,956 who selfishly lived to 102. 15 00:00:31,961 --> 00:00:35,385 Lastly, Émile Roux was assistant to Louis Pasteur. 16 00:00:35,390 --> 00:00:37,420 When they worked on the rabies vaccine, 17 00:00:37,425 --> 00:00:39,589 Roux kept a loaded gun in the lab 18 00:00:39,594 --> 00:00:42,173 to shoot Pasteur in the head if he got infected. 19 00:00:42,178 --> 00:00:45,178 He never had to, but it's fun to know he would have. 20 00:00:45,183 --> 00:00:46,512 LINKLETTER: No, Sheldon. 21 00:00:46,517 --> 00:00:48,212 You can't be my lab assistant. 22 00:00:48,217 --> 00:00:50,117 Maybe you weren't paying attention. 23 00:00:50,122 --> 00:00:51,251 I'll start over. 24 00:00:51,256 --> 00:00:52,901 Behind every great scientist, 25 00:00:52,906 --> 00:00:54,204 there was a dedicated as... 26 00:00:54,209 --> 00:00:57,174 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 27 00:00:57,179 --> 00:01:00,043 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 28 00:01:00,048 --> 00:01:02,646 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 29 00:01:02,651 --> 00:01:05,415 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 30 00:01:05,420 --> 00:01:09,490 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ 31 00:01:09,495 --> 00:01:11,695 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 32 00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:12,930 LINKLETTER: Son, 33 00:01:12,935 --> 00:01:15,358 lab assistants are usually upperclassmen. 34 00:01:15,363 --> 00:01:17,327 I believe I've been at this university 35 00:01:17,332 --> 00:01:18,728 long enough to be considered. 36 00:01:18,733 --> 00:01:19,863 You've been here two weeks. 37 00:01:19,868 --> 00:01:22,308 Hey, 16 days if you count orientation. 38 00:01:22,313 --> 00:01:25,078 Sheldon, there's a waitlist of students 39 00:01:25,083 --> 00:01:26,413 who've applied for that position. 40 00:01:26,418 --> 00:01:28,468 I just can't give you special treatment. 41 00:01:28,473 --> 00:01:29,969 Not with that attitude. 42 00:01:29,974 --> 00:01:32,472 Tell you what, I'll think about it. 43 00:01:32,477 --> 00:01:34,040 Should I come back or should I wait? 44 00:01:34,045 --> 00:01:35,775 - Come back. - I'll wait. 45 00:01:35,780 --> 00:01:37,276 I thought about it. No. 46 00:01:37,281 --> 00:01:38,712 (THE PEOPLE'S COURT THEME MUSIC PLAYS) 47 00:01:38,716 --> 00:01:40,808 Judgment for plaintiff for $169.50. 48 00:01:40,813 --> 00:01:43,313 You think Judge Wapner and Rusty the bailiff 49 00:01:43,318 --> 00:01:44,548 are friends in real life? 50 00:01:44,553 --> 00:01:45,553 Yeah. 51 00:01:45,558 --> 00:01:47,392 You can't fake that kind of chemistry. 52 00:01:48,459 --> 00:01:51,090 I'm flying! 53 00:01:51,095 --> 00:01:53,759 There you are! Where have you been? 54 00:01:53,764 --> 00:01:55,995 - We've been waiting for you. - What is this? 55 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:58,231 That's the exercise guy Meemaw likes. 56 00:01:58,236 --> 00:01:59,966 Sweatin' to the Oldies 2... 57 00:01:59,971 --> 00:02:03,202 I can't believe anyone pays money to watch old people sweat. 58 00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:04,971 MISSY: 40 bucks? 59 00:02:04,976 --> 00:02:06,906 GEORGE JR.: They sold over a million of those? 60 00:02:06,911 --> 00:02:08,741 At 40 bucks a pop? 61 00:02:08,746 --> 00:02:10,676 Do you know how much money that must be? 62 00:02:10,681 --> 00:02:12,683 I'm not a calculator. 63 00:02:13,988 --> 00:02:17,988 40 times... one million. 64 00:02:19,357 --> 00:02:21,220 That's 40 million! 65 00:02:21,225 --> 00:02:23,189 Whoa. 66 00:02:23,194 --> 00:02:25,625 And then he said he wouldn't give me special treatment. 67 00:02:25,630 --> 00:02:27,093 I think what he said is 68 00:02:27,098 --> 00:02:28,895 everybody should be treated equally. 69 00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:30,200 I'm sorry, is this Russia? 70 00:02:30,205 --> 00:02:31,898 Should we get in line for bread? 71 00:02:31,903 --> 00:02:35,067 It's his lab, Sheldon. He can do what he wants. 72 00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:37,103 (COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO) 73 00:02:37,108 --> 00:02:38,304 I've got it. 74 00:02:38,309 --> 00:02:39,872 Dr. Linkletter likes you. 75 00:02:39,877 --> 00:02:42,408 You go on a date with him and when he tries to kiss you, 76 00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:44,710 say you'll do it, but only if he gives me the job. 77 00:02:44,715 --> 00:02:48,915 I'm gonna ask you to think hard about what you just said. 78 00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:51,317 What? I want something, he wants something... 79 00:02:51,322 --> 00:02:52,552 seems like a win-win. 80 00:02:52,557 --> 00:02:53,786 Not for me. 81 00:02:53,791 --> 00:02:54,954 You get a free dinner. 82 00:02:54,959 --> 00:02:56,459 Make him take you someplace nice. 83 00:02:56,464 --> 00:02:58,791 - Ooh, maybe Sizzler. - Sheldon. 84 00:02:58,796 --> 00:03:01,661 (TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY) 85 00:03:01,666 --> 00:03:03,196 What are you doing? 86 00:03:03,201 --> 00:03:05,531 Gonna make an exercise video. 87 00:03:05,536 --> 00:03:06,536 Why? 88 00:03:06,541 --> 00:03:08,935 If Richard Simmons could make 40 million bucks, 89 00:03:08,940 --> 00:03:10,803 think how much I could make with my face. 90 00:03:10,808 --> 00:03:12,972 What's your face got to do with it? 91 00:03:12,977 --> 00:03:15,212 What do you mean? I'm gorgeous, ask anybody. 92 00:03:16,433 --> 00:03:18,297 - (DOOR OPENS) - (SIGHS) 93 00:03:18,302 --> 00:03:21,192 ADULT SHELDON: Since my meemaw was being stingy with her love, 94 00:03:21,197 --> 00:03:22,327 I had to find another way 95 00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:24,007 - to change Dr. Linkletter's mind. - (TYPING RAPIDLY) 96 00:03:24,011 --> 00:03:25,675 I decided to treat this 97 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:27,177 like a science experiment... 98 00:03:27,182 --> 00:03:29,388 test various methods of persuasion 99 00:03:29,393 --> 00:03:31,557 to determine which was the most effective. 100 00:03:31,562 --> 00:03:34,693 Dr. Linkletter, I was talking to the other physics professors 101 00:03:34,698 --> 00:03:37,063 and they think you having an 11-year-old lab assistant 102 00:03:37,068 --> 00:03:38,868 - would be neat. - No. 103 00:03:40,777 --> 00:03:42,543 Don't you want your peers to think you're cool? 104 00:03:42,547 --> 00:03:43,927 - No. - I would. 105 00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:44,932 No. 106 00:03:44,937 --> 00:03:47,201 - (KNOCKS) - Dr. Linkletter? 107 00:03:47,206 --> 00:03:48,206 What? 108 00:03:48,211 --> 00:03:49,311 If you look in your drawer, 109 00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:50,650 you'll find a little something. 110 00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:55,114 I hope you like peanut butter cookies. 111 00:03:55,119 --> 00:03:56,749 This isn't going to change my mind. 112 00:03:56,754 --> 00:03:58,517 - You sure? - Yes. 113 00:03:58,522 --> 00:04:00,423 Then give them back, they're my favorite. 114 00:04:02,287 --> 00:04:03,287 - Say yes. - _ 115 00:04:03,292 --> 00:04:04,455 - No. - Yes. 116 00:04:04,460 --> 00:04:06,125 - No. - Yes. 117 00:04:06,130 --> 00:04:08,561 - No. - HIja. 118 00:04:08,566 --> 00:04:09,662 What? 119 00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:11,130 That's "yes" in Klingon. 120 00:04:11,135 --> 00:04:12,765 How do you say "no" in Klingon? 121 00:04:12,770 --> 00:04:13,780 Qo'. 122 00:04:13,785 --> 00:04:15,085 Qo'! 123 00:04:15,090 --> 00:04:16,090 Aw. 124 00:04:16,094 --> 00:04:18,190 _ 125 00:04:18,195 --> 00:04:20,125 I overheard some of your other candidates 126 00:04:20,130 --> 00:04:21,712 talking about marijuana. 127 00:04:21,717 --> 00:04:23,581 - (SNACK DROPS) - I don't care. 128 00:04:23,586 --> 00:04:24,749 Well, you should. 129 00:04:24,754 --> 00:04:26,754 I think they plan on smoking it. 130 00:04:26,759 --> 00:04:28,526 (LINKLETTER GROANS SOFTLY) 131 00:04:28,530 --> 00:04:29,683 _ 132 00:04:29,687 --> 00:04:31,417 - You know what? - What? 133 00:04:31,422 --> 00:04:33,452 I was just admiring your posture. 134 00:04:33,457 --> 00:04:36,417 You're not all hunched over like most people your age. 135 00:04:39,426 --> 00:04:42,491 So, most people think you need expensive machines 136 00:04:42,496 --> 00:04:43,696 to work out, 137 00:04:43,701 --> 00:04:45,564 but I just use free weights. 138 00:04:45,569 --> 00:04:47,831 To be clear, they ain't free. You got to buy them. 139 00:04:47,836 --> 00:04:50,036 Are you watching yourself work out? 140 00:04:50,041 --> 00:04:52,138 I made an exercise video. 141 00:04:52,143 --> 00:04:53,673 Why? 142 00:04:53,678 --> 00:04:54,974 To sell. 143 00:04:54,979 --> 00:04:56,542 That's very important. 144 00:04:56,547 --> 00:04:58,544 Next, we're gonna do curls. 145 00:04:58,549 --> 00:05:00,079 'Cause, like I always say, 146 00:05:00,084 --> 00:05:02,384 curls get the girls. 147 00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:04,185 - Oh, Lord. - What? 148 00:05:04,190 --> 00:05:06,291 - (SPUTTERS) - You want to remember: squeeze it at the top. 149 00:05:06,295 --> 00:05:07,891 People like it when things rhyme. 150 00:05:07,896 --> 00:05:09,226 (GRUNTS ON VIDEO) 151 00:05:09,231 --> 00:05:11,465 (PHONE RINGS) 152 00:05:11,469 --> 00:05:13,069 _ 153 00:05:13,994 --> 00:05:14,994 Hello? 154 00:05:14,999 --> 00:05:16,499 Can I be your lab assistant? 155 00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:19,432 What time is it? 156 00:05:19,437 --> 00:05:20,637 That's not a no. 157 00:05:21,736 --> 00:05:24,236 If I say yes, will you please stop hounding me? 158 00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:25,741 - Absolutely. - LINKLETTER: Fine. 159 00:05:25,746 --> 00:05:27,340 You win. Good night. 160 00:05:27,345 --> 00:05:29,041 Just out of scientific curiosity, 161 00:05:29,046 --> 00:05:31,077 were you persuaded by the disorienting nature 162 00:05:31,082 --> 00:05:32,478 of this late-night phone call 163 00:05:32,483 --> 00:05:34,481 or by the cumulative weight of my relentlessness? 164 00:05:34,485 --> 00:05:35,552 That one. 165 00:05:36,852 --> 00:05:39,852 ADULT SHELDON: I learned an important lesson that night. 166 00:05:39,857 --> 00:05:41,454 When you want something, 167 00:05:41,459 --> 00:05:44,828 relentlessly annoying is your road to victory. 168 00:05:47,587 --> 00:05:50,487 - How may I assist you today? - Follow me. 169 00:05:50,492 --> 00:05:52,022 Should I look over your notes? 170 00:05:52,027 --> 00:05:53,857 Would you like me to double-check your math? 171 00:05:53,862 --> 00:05:55,392 See these bolts? 172 00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:56,794 Scrub the grease off. 173 00:05:56,799 --> 00:05:58,762 - But there's hundreds of them. - Yes. 174 00:05:58,767 --> 00:06:00,167 That's where you come in. 175 00:06:00,172 --> 00:06:02,272 Surely there's a better use of my intellect. 176 00:06:02,277 --> 00:06:04,635 Son, we're building a solar neutrino detector. 177 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:06,904 If you don't want the job, there's the door. 178 00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:08,209 No, I want it. 179 00:06:08,214 --> 00:06:09,614 Good man. 180 00:06:12,348 --> 00:06:15,470 (SIGHS) Although that door does look tempting. 181 00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:16,838 So, I could really use your help 182 00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:18,706 making it look more professional. 183 00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:20,141 That's burn right there. (GRUNTS) 184 00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:22,486 Like, adding a little, you know... 185 00:06:22,491 --> 00:06:26,391 I think the word you're looking for is "pizazz". 186 00:06:26,396 --> 00:06:28,496 Exactly. So, you'll do it? 187 00:06:28,501 --> 00:06:31,331 Well, I'm flattered that you would ask, 188 00:06:31,336 --> 00:06:34,164 but exercise videos... 189 00:06:34,169 --> 00:06:36,800 That's not really what I do. 190 00:06:36,805 --> 00:06:38,535 But I've seen you on TV. 191 00:06:38,540 --> 00:06:41,271 I'm soft and firm 192 00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:43,674 - in all the right places. - _ 193 00:06:43,679 --> 00:06:44,975 You've been in plays. 194 00:06:44,980 --> 00:06:46,477 It's all right, Molly. 195 00:06:46,482 --> 00:06:48,679 Annie's here. 196 00:06:48,684 --> 00:06:50,447 Don't forget my modeling work. 197 00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:52,483 - ♪♪ - _ 198 00:06:52,488 --> 00:06:55,557 But I have a reputation. 199 00:06:55,562 --> 00:06:57,962 When people hear the name Gene Lundy, 200 00:06:57,967 --> 00:06:59,456 they expect quality. 201 00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:01,292 They expect showmanship. 202 00:07:01,297 --> 00:07:03,460 (CHUCKLES) They expect me to get paid. 203 00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:04,999 Oh, I'm gonna pay you. 204 00:07:06,165 --> 00:07:08,365 Let's make an exercise video! (CHUCKLES) 205 00:07:08,370 --> 00:07:11,334 ADULT SHELDON: While not the lab work I hoped to be doing, 206 00:07:11,338 --> 00:07:14,881 it did feel good to be part of an actual experiment. 207 00:07:14,886 --> 00:07:16,649 A tedious, menial part 208 00:07:16,654 --> 00:07:18,372 that could be performed by a monkey. 209 00:07:18,377 --> 00:07:20,577 Or worse, an engineer. 210 00:07:20,582 --> 00:07:22,613 Here you go. 211 00:07:22,618 --> 00:07:25,318 473 grease-free bolts. 212 00:07:25,323 --> 00:07:28,118 - (CHUCKLES) Excellent. - Now what? 213 00:07:28,123 --> 00:07:29,453 How about I help you design 214 00:07:29,458 --> 00:07:31,389 an even better solar neutrino detector? 215 00:07:31,393 --> 00:07:33,589 Actually, what I need you to do is... 216 00:07:33,594 --> 00:07:36,894 take this grease and put it on these bolts. 217 00:07:36,899 --> 00:07:40,130 But I just took the grease off the bolts. 218 00:07:40,135 --> 00:07:41,265 That was the wrong grease. 219 00:07:41,270 --> 00:07:43,171 This is the right grease. Have at it. 220 00:07:44,271 --> 00:07:46,302 If this is some kind of test to get me to quit, 221 00:07:46,307 --> 00:07:47,570 it's not going to work. 222 00:07:47,575 --> 00:07:48,873 I don't know what you were expecting, 223 00:07:48,877 --> 00:07:50,738 but this is a menial job. 224 00:07:50,743 --> 00:07:53,941 After this, I need you to sort a crate of resistors, 225 00:07:53,946 --> 00:07:56,346 strip a case of wire and then sweep up. 226 00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:57,414 Oh. 227 00:07:57,419 --> 00:07:59,783 - Then I quit. - (GREASE CAN THUDS) 228 00:07:59,788 --> 00:08:02,918 Now, I like the idea of an exercise video. 229 00:08:02,923 --> 00:08:05,923 I'm just not sure that weight lifting is the way to go. 230 00:08:05,928 --> 00:08:07,157 Why not? 231 00:08:07,162 --> 00:08:09,662 It's low-energy. You know? 232 00:08:09,667 --> 00:08:11,328 We don't want a one-man show. 233 00:08:11,333 --> 00:08:13,497 We want Starlight Express. 234 00:08:13,502 --> 00:08:15,165 I don't know what that is. 235 00:08:15,170 --> 00:08:17,805 You'd love it. Andrew Lloyd Webber, 236 00:08:17,810 --> 00:08:19,636 people on roller skates. 237 00:08:19,641 --> 00:08:21,938 That's a thought. Skater-cise. 238 00:08:21,943 --> 00:08:23,173 Do you... do you skate? 239 00:08:23,178 --> 00:08:24,241 No. 240 00:08:24,246 --> 00:08:25,309 Too bad. 241 00:08:25,314 --> 00:08:27,511 You sure I can't just lift weights? 242 00:08:27,516 --> 00:08:29,713 Aerobics is the way to go. 243 00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:32,616 It's got music. It's got energy. (SNAPPING FINGERS) 244 00:08:32,621 --> 00:08:34,518 It's got what? 245 00:08:34,523 --> 00:08:36,553 - Pizazz? - Bingo! 246 00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:38,384 Now, hear me out. 247 00:08:38,389 --> 00:08:41,788 We surround you with a bunch of dancing girls. 248 00:08:41,793 --> 00:08:42,993 No, even better. 249 00:08:42,998 --> 00:08:45,195 The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. 250 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:48,460 - If that's what "pizazz" means, I like it. - (CHUCKLES) 251 00:08:49,266 --> 00:08:51,766 Of course, to do this right, 252 00:08:51,771 --> 00:08:54,202 we are gonna need some financing. 253 00:08:54,207 --> 00:08:56,607 What does your father do for a living? 254 00:08:56,612 --> 00:08:58,038 He's a coach here at the school. 255 00:08:58,043 --> 00:08:59,543 Oof. 256 00:08:59,548 --> 00:09:01,745 I know somebody who's got money. 257 00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:03,451 (DOORBELL RINGS) 258 00:09:04,507 --> 00:09:05,707 What do you two want? 259 00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:09,544 What we want is to make you rich. 260 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:12,055 Oh, God. 261 00:09:12,060 --> 00:09:14,625 - What do you mean you quit? - It was beneath me. 262 00:09:14,630 --> 00:09:17,361 You need to learn there's nothing wrong with a little hard work. 263 00:09:17,366 --> 00:09:19,561 Hard work is calculating neutrino properties 264 00:09:19,566 --> 00:09:20,766 to one percent accuracy. 265 00:09:20,771 --> 00:09:22,997 Anyone can wash bolts. 266 00:09:23,002 --> 00:09:24,632 You begged him for that job. 267 00:09:24,637 --> 00:09:26,999 I assumed he'd realize the value of my intellect 268 00:09:27,004 --> 00:09:28,438 and put it to good use. 269 00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:29,573 Hang on. 270 00:09:29,578 --> 00:09:31,108 You made a commitment. 271 00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:33,310 When you say you're gonna do something, you do it. 272 00:09:33,315 --> 00:09:35,345 Well, he could find someone else. 273 00:09:35,350 --> 00:09:36,650 Doesn't matter. 274 00:09:36,655 --> 00:09:39,156 This is about you being a man of your word. 275 00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:42,518 ADULT SHELDON: I wanted to point out 276 00:09:42,522 --> 00:09:44,421 that I couldn't be a man of my word, 277 00:09:44,425 --> 00:09:47,925 since I hadn't hit puberty, but he seemed pretty grouchy. 278 00:09:48,748 --> 00:09:50,178 GEORGE JR.: You know how you love 279 00:09:50,183 --> 00:09:51,783 those Richard Simmons tapes? 280 00:09:51,788 --> 00:09:54,718 - Yeah. - Well, what if I told you 281 00:09:54,723 --> 00:09:56,857 we have the next big thing 282 00:09:56,862 --> 00:09:58,962 in home fitness videos. 283 00:09:58,967 --> 00:10:02,739 Mm. And what kind of thing would that be? 284 00:10:02,744 --> 00:10:05,142 "Cowboy aerobics". 285 00:10:05,147 --> 00:10:06,743 (QUIETLY): Yee-haw. 286 00:10:06,748 --> 00:10:07,878 It's like, um, 287 00:10:07,883 --> 00:10:08,913 Sweatin' to the Oldies 288 00:10:08,918 --> 00:10:10,647 with a little bit of Southern swagger. 289 00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:11,882 (IMITATES GUNSHOTS QUIETLY) 290 00:10:11,887 --> 00:10:13,050 Cool, huh? 291 00:10:13,055 --> 00:10:15,352 So, are y'all just 292 00:10:15,357 --> 00:10:17,884 trying to sell me an aerobics tape? 293 00:10:17,888 --> 00:10:19,912 No. No, not at all. 294 00:10:19,917 --> 00:10:21,717 We want you to give us money to make them. 295 00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:24,194 "Invest". He... he means invest. 296 00:10:25,132 --> 00:10:28,532 And who would be, uh, starring in this video? 297 00:10:28,537 --> 00:10:29,633 Me. 298 00:10:29,638 --> 00:10:31,668 (LAUGHS) That's ridiculous. 299 00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:32,769 (CHUCKLING) 300 00:10:32,774 --> 00:10:35,005 And Richard Simmons ain't ridiculous? 301 00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:37,174 Well, now, the young man does have a point. 302 00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:38,408 Yeah, maybe on his head. 303 00:10:38,413 --> 00:10:40,243 Look, you're not getting my money. 304 00:10:40,248 --> 00:10:44,982 Well, you are passing a-a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. 305 00:10:44,987 --> 00:10:47,084 And how much lifetime do you have left? 306 00:10:47,089 --> 00:10:48,956 That's not helping. 307 00:10:50,626 --> 00:10:52,059 No. 308 00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,126 All right, fair enough. 309 00:10:56,131 --> 00:10:58,528 Thank you for hearing us out. 310 00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:01,865 If you have a change of heart, you let us know. 311 00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:03,397 Screw that. 312 00:11:03,402 --> 00:11:04,832 My whole life 313 00:11:04,837 --> 00:11:07,337 I've seen you bet on football games, 314 00:11:07,342 --> 00:11:10,044 throw away all kinds of money at the track. 315 00:11:11,246 --> 00:11:12,763 If you want to gamble on something, 316 00:11:12,768 --> 00:11:14,970 why can't it be on your own grandson? 317 00:11:17,292 --> 00:11:19,092 How much money you need? 318 00:11:20,622 --> 00:11:22,152 Well, now, um... 319 00:11:22,157 --> 00:11:25,489 how much money did you bet on football last year? 320 00:11:25,494 --> 00:11:27,625 (CHUCKLES): Well, you're not getting that much. 321 00:11:27,630 --> 00:11:30,623 - (PHONE RINGS) - Hello? 322 00:11:30,628 --> 00:11:31,924 SHELDON: Dr. Linkletter? 323 00:11:31,929 --> 00:11:33,426 (SIGHS) Sheldon Cooper. 324 00:11:34,210 --> 00:11:37,410 I'm calling to apologize. I shouldn't have quit. 325 00:11:37,415 --> 00:11:39,415 I made a commitment, and I need to see it through. 326 00:11:40,413 --> 00:11:43,013 I appreciate that, but there's no need. 327 00:11:43,018 --> 00:11:46,317 There is. It's important to me, as well as my father. 328 00:11:47,342 --> 00:11:48,842 - Fine. - Excellent. 329 00:11:48,847 --> 00:11:50,847 Don't worry, I won't overstep my bounds. 330 00:11:50,852 --> 00:11:53,383 I give you my word as a Texan. 331 00:11:53,388 --> 00:11:55,385 - Great. - And a man. 332 00:11:55,390 --> 00:11:57,454 - Very good. - Well, a future man. 333 00:11:57,459 --> 00:11:59,790 At present, my hormones and body hair aren't exactly 334 00:11:59,795 --> 00:12:01,192 - what you'd call... - Good night. 335 00:12:01,197 --> 00:12:03,197 - (DIAL TONE) - Hmm. 336 00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:09,592 ADULT SHELDON: The next day I returned 337 00:12:09,597 --> 00:12:12,295 to my role as lab assistant with renewed vigor. 338 00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:13,596 Bolts were greased, 339 00:12:13,601 --> 00:12:15,231 wires were stripped, 340 00:12:15,236 --> 00:12:17,667 floors were swept, all with a smile. 341 00:12:17,672 --> 00:12:19,268 It was a forced smile 342 00:12:19,273 --> 00:12:20,473 but you'd never know. 343 00:12:20,478 --> 00:12:22,478 I must say, Sheldon, I'm impressed. 344 00:12:22,483 --> 00:12:24,543 I gave you my word and I'm standing by it. 345 00:12:24,547 --> 00:12:26,084 Well, I know it's not glamorous, 346 00:12:26,088 --> 00:12:27,768 but all scientists pay their dues. 347 00:12:27,773 --> 00:12:29,203 And I'm happy to do it. 348 00:12:29,208 --> 00:12:31,180 - Good man. - I understand my role here. 349 00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:33,500 In fact, I noticed a flaw in your reaction rates, 350 00:12:33,505 --> 00:12:35,718 but I kept it to myself because I know my place. 351 00:12:35,723 --> 00:12:38,054 - You really think there's a flaw? - Oh, yes. 352 00:12:38,059 --> 00:12:39,288 What is it? 353 00:12:39,293 --> 00:12:40,833 I appreciate you testing me, 354 00:12:40,838 --> 00:12:42,301 but I'm not going to crack. 355 00:12:42,306 --> 00:12:43,669 I'm not testing you. 356 00:12:43,674 --> 00:12:45,141 Nice try. 357 00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:50,532 So, when are we gonna shoot this thing? 358 00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,300 Slow down, now. 359 00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:53,802 We've got to plan out. 360 00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:56,505 You know, costumes, choreography, music. 361 00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:57,840 Let's start with the set. 362 00:12:57,845 --> 00:12:59,275 Now, I was thinking... 363 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:01,044 an Oklahoma theme. 364 00:13:01,049 --> 00:13:02,569 Hay bales, saloon door, 365 00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:04,939 maybe a surrey with a fringe on top. 366 00:13:04,944 --> 00:13:06,173 A what with a what? 367 00:13:06,178 --> 00:13:07,641 Oh, you know. 368 00:13:07,646 --> 00:13:10,052 ♪ Chicks and ducks and geese better scurry ♪ 369 00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:12,188 ♪ When I take you out in my surrey ♪ 370 00:13:12,193 --> 00:13:13,523 ♪ When I take you out ♪ 371 00:13:13,528 --> 00:13:14,829 ♪ In my surrey with the fringe... ♪ 372 00:13:14,833 --> 00:13:16,997 Okay, forget Oklahoma. 373 00:13:17,002 --> 00:13:18,002 Done. 374 00:13:19,165 --> 00:13:21,196 ADULT SHELDON: In an effort to find out the mistake 375 00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:22,897 in his experimental design, 376 00:13:22,902 --> 00:13:26,601 Dr. Linkletter performed his own experiment on me. 377 00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:29,537 You know, Sheldon, I don't even care if you tell me the error. 378 00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:31,573 In fact, I'd rather you keep it to yourself. 379 00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:32,974 All right. 380 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,977 (QUIETLY): Yeah. 381 00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:36,645 _ 382 00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:39,482 I got you a little something for all your hard work. 383 00:13:39,487 --> 00:13:41,951 It's about a little boy who doesn't let being dead 384 00:13:41,956 --> 00:13:43,616 stop him from having fun. 385 00:13:43,621 --> 00:13:44,817 Thanks. 386 00:13:44,822 --> 00:13:47,552 (CHUCKLES) Now that I've given you something, 387 00:13:47,557 --> 00:13:48,887 perhaps you want to reciprocate. 388 00:13:48,892 --> 00:13:51,895 Sure. You can have this. I don't want it. 389 00:13:53,094 --> 00:13:55,695 (PHONE RINGING) 390 00:13:56,946 --> 00:13:58,846 _ 391 00:14:00,146 --> 00:14:01,146 Hello? 392 00:14:01,151 --> 00:14:03,603 LINKLETTER: Uh, may I speak with Sheldon? 393 00:14:03,608 --> 00:14:06,306 It's the middle of the night. Who the hell is this? 394 00:14:06,311 --> 00:14:07,811 Uh, wrong number. 395 00:14:08,946 --> 00:14:11,914 (DIAL TONE) 396 00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:13,582 LUNDY: All right. 397 00:14:13,587 --> 00:14:16,218 - (LIVELY COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING) - Let's try it again. 398 00:14:16,223 --> 00:14:18,758 ♪♪ 399 00:14:20,982 --> 00:14:22,645 - ♪ Last night... ♪ - (TURNS OFF MUSIC) 400 00:14:22,650 --> 00:14:25,130 I'm sorry, are-are we galloping, 401 00:14:25,135 --> 00:14:27,506 or are we doing double Dutch? 402 00:14:27,511 --> 00:14:29,211 You got to get your hips into it, 403 00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:30,216 all right? 404 00:14:30,221 --> 00:14:32,452 Yeah, you get your rope, you get your hip. 405 00:14:32,457 --> 00:14:34,620 We can gallop up, we can gallop back. 406 00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:36,605 We're lassoing and galloping 407 00:14:36,610 --> 00:14:38,010 - around the corral. - (KNOCKING) 408 00:14:38,015 --> 00:14:39,712 Excuse me. 409 00:14:39,717 --> 00:14:40,880 We need to talk. 410 00:14:40,885 --> 00:14:42,348 Can it wait? 411 00:14:42,353 --> 00:14:44,083 I'm trying to turn your grandson here 412 00:14:44,088 --> 00:14:46,185 into the Richard Simmons of the Wild West. 413 00:14:46,190 --> 00:14:49,522 No, it can't. I took a look at this contract you sent over. 414 00:14:49,527 --> 00:14:52,056 Oh, well, that's just boilerplate legalese. 415 00:14:52,060 --> 00:14:53,210 I wouldn't even read that. 416 00:14:53,215 --> 00:14:55,412 Too late. I couldn't help but notice 417 00:14:55,417 --> 00:14:57,514 you're taking 80% of the profits. 418 00:14:57,519 --> 00:14:59,316 Eighty percent? 419 00:14:59,321 --> 00:15:01,346 Well, in case no one has noticed, 420 00:15:01,350 --> 00:15:03,632 I'm doing most of the work here. 421 00:15:03,637 --> 00:15:05,201 But it was all my idea. 422 00:15:05,206 --> 00:15:09,605 Your idea was lifting weights in some dingy garage. 423 00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:13,409 Cowboy aerobics was hatched in this egg right here. 424 00:15:13,414 --> 00:15:14,644 But it's my face. 425 00:15:14,649 --> 00:15:15,649 Any my money. 426 00:15:15,654 --> 00:15:17,524 And my apologies, 427 00:15:17,529 --> 00:15:20,193 but 20% is all you're getting. 428 00:15:20,198 --> 00:15:22,263 Unbelievable. 429 00:15:22,268 --> 00:15:23,785 Excuse me. 430 00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:25,887 I've done all the choreography. 431 00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:27,289 I designed the sets. 432 00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:29,725 I-I made the costumes by hand. 433 00:15:29,730 --> 00:15:31,060 You think you can find 434 00:15:31,065 --> 00:15:32,795 sequined chaps in a mall? 435 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:34,063 No, you cannot. 436 00:15:34,068 --> 00:15:36,670 And they give you quite the look when you ask. 437 00:15:37,875 --> 00:15:39,505 Come on, let's get out of here. 438 00:15:39,510 --> 00:15:41,310 Oh, fine, go ahead. 439 00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:43,778 And we're gonna make our own exercise video without you. 440 00:15:43,783 --> 00:15:44,813 No, we're not. 441 00:15:44,818 --> 00:15:45,986 No, we're not! 442 00:15:48,217 --> 00:15:50,017 And they call me dramatic. 443 00:15:51,018 --> 00:15:54,016 ADULT SHELDON: The next day, Dr. Linkletter ran his experiment. 444 00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:56,952 I'm proud to say I never broke my word, 445 00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:58,888 and he eventually figured out the problem. 446 00:15:58,893 --> 00:16:00,194 - (FLAMES WHOOSHING) - LINKLETTER: Fire! 447 00:16:00,198 --> 00:16:01,898 Fire! 448 00:16:01,903 --> 00:16:03,099 Fire! 449 00:16:03,104 --> 00:16:05,635 Was it too much oxygen in the reagents? 450 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:08,140 See? You didn't need my help after all. 451 00:16:13,007 --> 00:16:15,007 ADULT SHELDON: Mr. Lundy was undeterred. 452 00:16:15,012 --> 00:16:16,783 He sought out new investors 453 00:16:16,788 --> 00:16:19,453 and new talent to bring cowboy aerobics to life. 454 00:16:19,458 --> 00:16:20,788 LUNDY: You've got the look. 455 00:16:20,793 --> 00:16:22,790 (CHUCKLES): You've got the physique. 456 00:16:22,795 --> 00:16:26,393 If-if we could secure a star of your caliber, 457 00:16:26,398 --> 00:16:29,163 it would really put us on the map. 458 00:16:29,168 --> 00:16:31,599 I do look good in a cowboy hat. 459 00:16:31,604 --> 00:16:34,034 You look good in everything. (CHUCKLES) 460 00:16:34,039 --> 00:16:35,903 Come on, Mr. Hasselhoff. 461 00:16:35,908 --> 00:16:37,104 Call me The Hoff. 462 00:16:37,109 --> 00:16:39,073 (CHUCKLES): Okay, The Hoff. 463 00:16:39,078 --> 00:16:40,741 So, what do you say? 464 00:16:40,746 --> 00:16:44,678 Well, I've conquered television, music. 465 00:16:44,683 --> 00:16:48,813 I don't see why I couldn't add exercise videos 466 00:16:48,817 --> 00:16:50,317 to my empire. 467 00:16:50,322 --> 00:16:51,919 So you'll do it? 468 00:16:51,924 --> 00:16:53,955 You got The Hoff! 469 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:56,105 Hot damn! I got The Hoff! 470 00:16:56,110 --> 00:16:57,440 (BOTH LAUGH) 471 00:16:57,445 --> 00:16:58,775 By-by any chance, 472 00:16:58,780 --> 00:17:01,010 do you know what size chaps you wear? 473 00:17:01,015 --> 00:17:03,050 Oh. I got my own. 474 00:17:04,182 --> 00:17:06,282 Of course you do. (CHUCKLES) 475 00:17:06,287 --> 00:17:08,852 - (WHIP CRACKS) - (LIVELY COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING) 476 00:17:08,857 --> 00:17:13,222 All right, buckaroos, it's time for cowboy aerobics with... 477 00:17:13,227 --> 00:17:15,557 - David Hasselhoff! - David Hasselhoff! 478 00:17:15,562 --> 00:17:18,262 Who's ready to rustle up some muscles? 479 00:17:18,267 --> 00:17:22,259 - (WHOOPING) - Let's saddle up and ride. 480 00:17:22,264 --> 00:17:23,764 ADULT SHELDON: Thanks to The Hoff, 481 00:17:23,769 --> 00:17:26,569 the video was a smashing success. 482 00:17:26,574 --> 00:17:29,972 Who wants a beach body like the ones on Baywatch? 483 00:17:29,977 --> 00:17:32,241 Which I'm also in. Check your local listings. 484 00:17:32,246 --> 00:17:33,543 (RICOCHET SOUND EFFECT) 485 00:17:33,548 --> 00:17:34,649 ADULT SHELDON: Unfortunately, 486 00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:36,483 Mr. Lundy put all his profits 487 00:17:36,488 --> 00:17:38,988 into a musical about his life, entitled: 488 00:17:38,993 --> 00:17:40,593 Live, Laugh, Lundy. 489 00:17:40,598 --> 00:17:42,798 He is poor to this day. 490 00:17:42,803 --> 00:17:43,803 _ 491 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,000 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - -